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CRAZY SEX POSITIONS CHALLENGE!!






Ridiculous sex positions

At some point Tab A and Slot B mush in a mutually satisfactory way and you disengage, or your wrists and knees grow tired and you collapse in a heap of dissatisfaction. And better for you than margarine! Why would that be appealing? For whatever reason, polite society has come to accept the inclusion of dog references in sex, and horses too. Instead, you must lift your lady like a human guitar and dangle her in front of you while your dangle penetrates her. The position, though only physically feasible for ballerinas or acrobats, asks both parties to stand upright, while her lifted leg rests almost parallel to her body. But none of us have graduated to the point of being really turned on by a partner coming close and breathily saying, "I wanna fuck you like a spider. But then, if you picked the spider, you'd get the extra special notoriety of being super weird and gross at the same time, because spiders are the opposite of sex. Grossness aside, in sex terms the spider seems to be what happens when you and your partner get in the crab walk position and smash your genitals together.

Ridiculous sex positions


Of course, in the sex way the barrel is a vagina and the cream is, you know, sexing. Even musicians playing accordions know this. I'm all for trying new positions, but if the position makes you grunt before you even start having sex, it's likely not going to be worth it. But none of us have graduated to the point of being really turned on by a partner coming close and breathily saying, "I wanna fuck you like a spider. Also, so the man isn't left out of the discomfort, his penis needs to be entirely vertical and at the 6 o'clock position, which is just about the opposite of where it should be at any given time. Grossness aside, in sex terms the spider seems to be what happens when you and your partner get in the crab walk position and smash your genitals together. Why would that be appealing? But then, if you picked the spider, you'd get the extra special notoriety of being super weird and gross at the same time, because spiders are the opposite of sex. The following 10 positions represent the latter. The gist of this position is that you're using the woman the same way you'd use a butter churn, which is basically a skinny barrel in which you plunge some manner of stick in this case your dinky over and over again to turn cream into butter. The position, though only physically feasible for ballerinas or acrobats, asks both parties to stand upright, while her lifted leg rests almost parallel to her body. You can be hung like a horse and few people are offended, just as if you request a rousing bout of doggy dancing. Making sex into a weird game of Twister seems kind of like you're going against the grain anyway. Plus, what are the benefits of a position that, once again, requires the man's wang to at best be pointed south-southeast? You know, switch it up a bit. If this does indeed happen, use her disembodied arms to give yourself a hand job. Continue Reading Below Advertisement I assume this position was invented by a man who hated his wife or by an exuberant Amish man who really loved his wife in the way he loved his work and switches religiously between this position and the ol' "barn raiser. Once you're in position and the woman has blood rushing to her head and her breathing somewhat obstructed, you just start pogo-sticking her for all its worth in the hopes that, somewhere down there, you're not stepping on her face and she's really digging your moves. Even if it's really good. Some websites, you will find, display a generous bounty of worthwhile positions while others offer a library of options that seemingly set out to murder you. In order to satisfy this perversion, a couple may want to introduce some new moves to their sexual repertoire every now and then. So, like most people seeking information, we turn to the Internet. With her legs swept behind your back and her arms holding her body upright, you then thrust away as you look into the back of her head and she, off into some distant sunset. For whatever reason, polite society has come to accept the inclusion of dog references in sex, and horses too. The penis, contrary to some beliefs, is not a Mr. Instead, you must lift your lady like a human guitar and dangle her in front of you while your dangle penetrates her. Witness the aptly named Anal Bumper Cars position.

Ridiculous sex positions


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1 thoughts on “Ridiculous sex positions

  1. Mikajinn Reply

    But none of us have graduated to the point of being really turned on by a partner coming close and breathily saying, "I wanna fuck you like a spider.

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